I’m Alive, I’m Alive

I apologize for my unbelievably long departure. I never meant to be gone this long. I have repeatedly, and I do mean repeatedly, moved various blog posts on my calendar over the last four months. Things in my life have been haywire, hectic, shall I say hellish even? Oh yes, hellish is the appropriate word.

In the last week (or was it two?) I realized that I can’t make myself, or rather I don’t want make myself, write whatever is on my calendar. I set these goals for myself (finish the marathon piece, write about my fears of running for office, work on my book, work on a few other various pieces for publication), but the proverbial shit hit the fan a few months ago and I’ve been ducking from it for months. It’s rather hard to write when you’re trying to keep the feces at bay. Call this artistic blockage or nonsense, but it is what it is.

From here out I’ll do what I can to stick to blog pieces that are in an order that make sense to you, my readers, but I’ve come to realize that this blog is meant to be cathartic, not scheduled. I will finish blog pieces that I start, such as my last one, but sometimes there are other things that I need to write about. I’ve had so much that I’ve had to share over the last few months that I’ve neglected to write because I felt that the only post I needed to put up next was about the Boston
bombing.

I’ll finish my Marathon bombing piece soon enough, but here’s a taste of what I’ve dealt with in the last four months:

-Gave up my affordable apartment that offered me the only bit of stability in my life to find a place with my “partner”
-I’ve suffered from unbelievable amounts of stress living with my “partner”
-Ended up in the hospital for a few days with bacteria colitis
-Managed a City Council campaign until I finally had to leave because my candidate was a bad fit
-Have been through horrible ulcer pain
-Suffered numerous panic attacks
-Have drank a great deal more than I did before moving in with the “partner”
-Felt more alone yet more burdened then before the cohabitation
-Stopped caring for myself in order to care for my “partner”
-Became horribly ill again with another bacteria infection

This list could go on and on….

From here out I promise to do my best to finish blog pieces that I start, but I also promise to stay true to myself and write what moves me at the moment.

I may post some old writings here and there that I put together over the last few months as well. I hope you enjoy.

-Jen

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